Lessons from Colonel Pickering

It's incredible the lessons you can learn from movies...especially old ones.

"My Fair Lady" starring Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn is a fabulous film to me.

But there's one supporting role I'm taking into serious study and consideration.

The role of Colonel Pickering; gentleman, officer, language expert, friend.

Near the end of the film, Audrey Hepburn's character has undergone many life-changing lessons, and is now upset with the Professor (Harrison) for the way he has treated her after the success of their joint endeavour.

They engage in an argument, but before that Eliza (Hepburn) points out a fact to Mrs. Higgins, while the Professor stands in the background and grudgingly listens while grinding his teeth.

"He [Pickering] always showed that he thought and felt about me as if I were something better than a common flower girl. You see, apart from the things one can pick up, the difference between a lady and a flower girl isn't how she behaves but how she is treated. I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins, because he always treats me as a flower girl and always will. But I know I shall always be a lady to Colonel Pickering because he always treats me as a lady and always will."

Professor Higgins: My manners are exactly the same as Colonel Pickering's!

Eliza: That's not true. He treats a flower girl as if she were a Duchess.

Professor Higgins: And I treat a Duchess as if she were a flower girl.

Eliza: Oh I see, the same to everybody.

Professor Higgins: Just so. See, the great secret is not a question of good manners or bad manners or any particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls. The question is not whether I've ever treated you rudely, but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better!

Oh my. 

Higgins has hurt Eliza's feelings, and can't understand why. She tells him later, "What I want from you is a little kindness. I know I'm an ignorant commoner and you're a book-learned gentleman. But I am not dirt under your feet." And though he has a point about treating all people the same, how many Duchesses and flower girls do you think are friends with him with his "the same to everybody" attitude?

This conversation shows new sides and depths of these two characters and teaches us an important lesson about dealing with all people. Eliza didn't have to have this exchange with Colonel Pickering. He already grasped and put into practice treating all people as better than what they appear. This foundation is what makes him a gentleman. 

Higgins on the other hand is like a "motorbus, all bounce and go and no consideration for anybody or their feelings."

It's a case study of two successful men. I believe however, Colonel Pickering has more friends due to the fact that he has mastered the art of handling people and making them like him simply because he likes people regardless of their station, background, etc.

Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People shares all these secrets of success. It's one everyone should read. The things we see and like in Pickering's character can be found and copied through the book. 

It's interesting to note as well how Pickering's treatment of others wasn't out of a need to be liked, but simply because that's who he was, how he behaved, and what he believed was right. The height of his character is shown in treating everyone equally but as better than they appeared. He did it because it was right, not because he would gain anything from people.

Anyway, if you haven't seen "My Fair Lady," do. It's delightful.

And as for me, I aim to be a little more like Colonel Pickering. Indeed, his is a necessary character. We need more people to be consistent and noble supporting roles instead of always trying to play the main part. 

Thank you, Colonel Pickering.